this entry is public for now. that might change.

lately I have been trying to reconcile two apparently contradictory desires. on the one hand, ever since Jake and I broke up, I have been loving being single and crushing on boys and flirting and feeling attractive. on the other hand, ever since Jake and I broke up, the thought of being physically intimate with another person is so terrifying as to be repulsive. that door has been slammed shut, locked, and had a "do not disturb" sign hung on it, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

( my thighs have been involved in many accidents )