don't let this fading summer pass you by

  • Jul. 11th, 2010 at 12:25 PM
notemily: Photo of me, a white girl in her mid-20s, wearing glasses, smiling, looking up and to the right (firefly - river/bird)
So it has been... suggested... that I keep Twitter on Twitter, and I feel guilty for having my posts just be Twitter forever, so here's an actual update.

My fostering-kittens project is moving ahead nicely. I got approved by the woman my brain insists on calling the Kitten Lady, who comes to your house and makes sure you have a nice place for kittens, a couple of weeks ago. She said they should call me right away because summer is such a busy kitten time, but so far I haven't had any calls. That's OK, because I'm still recovering from Alan's visit and the house is a mess.

Oh yeah, Alan visited, with his girlfriend Trish like last year. It was a lot of fun, but I felt like kind of a dick because I kept wanting to get time with just Alan, and not only did he have other friends in Milwaukee to see, but he also had a girlfriend who was right there. Last year I had Duncan We Do Not Speak Of Him, so all four of us did stuff, but this year I felt like a third wheel.

Trish being there for the second year in a row brought up some of my deep insecurities about friendship and boys. The fact that they've been together for so long means this is actually a serious relationship, and that triggered a response in me that goes like this: "Oh no! Alan has someone he is really for serious close to! That means he won't be close to ME anymore, because my guy friends who get girlfriends always drop off the face of the earth!" Which leads to panic and me acting like a dick around Trish. Alan says I am being silly, but that really does happen to me all the time. Either I get a boyfriend and my guy friends no longer want to hang out, or they get a girlfriend and I never see them again. Which doesn't do much to dispel my deep-seated fear that guys only hang out with me because they want to get in my pants.

Alan is my best friend and he insists it won't be like that with us. I want to believe him, but I'm still scared.

It's all tangled up with Alan knowing me better than anyone (despite not knowing me during my formative years, which I didn't think was possible), and the photos he takes of me, which I always feel are very me, and I like to use them as my profile pictures on the interwebs, but he hasn't taken serious pictures of me in a long time, so I feel kind of identity-less online, especially since the last good picture of me is from over a year ago when me and Duncan that guy got together, and that's not what I want to remember when I look at my profile pictures.

While Alan was here, we went swing dancing and saw Devo at Summerfest and went to the comic book store and saw Eclipse, and perhaps I will post photos from some of those things later, once I get them uploaded to my flickr. At the moment I am gradually uploading photos from my New York trip back in March, which you can see here.

In other news: This is pretty much the best thing ever. Nathan and Bridget are getting married in A WEEK O_O. I wish I had a DSLR, or a new Lomo (mine died). I watched all of Leverage with Kate (she got me the DVDs for my birthday), which was awesome. I still don't have a Real Job™. I actually reorganized my room and cleaned the house for the Kitten Lady, a feat of epic proportions if you're me (clean ALL the things!!). I've been paperbackswapping like a fiend. Have you heard about Edward Cullen Cat?

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